And the winner is...

So, after watching the Oscars I can say I'm moderately impressed.  For the most part, the most common errors I saw were the massive number of four-in-hand ties replacing bow ties, which I'm somewhat willing to forgive despite my better judgement, and lack of waist covering.  However, there were some notable goofs as well as some well dressed gents at the event (unfortunately, I'm no judge of women's evening wear so we'll be sticking to the fellas).


First off, when I caught a glimpse of Billy Crystal in white tie, I was excited...for a brief period until I saw his waistcoat laying FAR below the front of the tailcoat and the use of a soft, turndown collared shirt.  Poor form for Billy or whoever it is who planned his wardrobe.  It's worth noting that Robert Downey Jr. made the same goof at the Golden Globes this year.  Once Billy changed to Black Tie, however, he was looking pretty good, even if the vest was a bit high gorge for my taste.


Christian Bale once again showed up in his all black ensemble, destroying all of the elegance associated with black tie.  Martin Scorsese and Jonah Hill did the same, but at least they wore bow ties (not that it excuses them at all, mind you).  


Cheers to Christopher Plummer for donning a midnight blue, velvet jacket with black piping.  It was a daring risk and it paid off in spades for him.


Extra points to Jean Dujardin of The Artist for managing to pull of the "1920s movie star" look both on and off the set.


Zachary Quinto made a daring choice with his black jacket with midnight blue lapels.  Not my style, but, in my most humble opinion, it works for him.


As for Robert Downey Jr., while I love him as an actor, the man simply seems to have an aversion to correct evening attire.  I almost hesitate to put him here at all as what he wore was more of a suit than black tie.  He wore a grey suit, black shirt, and seemingly-bedazzled silver bow tie.


I'll refrain from commenting on Sacha Baron Cohen


I'm not sure what was going on with Stephen Spielberg's collar.  Looks like he tried to fold down the tips of a turndown collar to look like a wing collar.  Not flattering at all.


Wim Wenders in bright blue bow tie and weird, regency-esque tailcoat...no comment.


James Earl Jones, as always, looked quite the classy gentleman in low cut vest, wing collar, and shawl lapel jacket.


I'm willing to forgive Zach Galifianakis and Will Ferrel for their all-white tail suits during the ceremony seeing as their use was more comedic than anything else.


That's all for now.  I'd post pictures, but the web is ripe with slideshows featuring all of the above right about now.  Keep watching for more updates on the blog through to week.  Goodnight all.

Walking the Red Carpet

So, sorry I haven't posted in a while.  Been a tad busy with the cast of "The Shades of Bobby Grey."  For those who don't know, it's an up-and-coming musical web series about the real-life challenges of being in the theatre industry.  


http://www.facebook.com/whatshadeareyou


Definitely check us out and give your support.  In other news, the Academy Awards are tonight.  I'm not a big film buff, but I'm a bit more interested in what the various celebrities will be wearing to the event.  Lately, there's been a great revival in proper evening dress for red-carpet events, but every year there are still the few who insist on dressing like circus clowns or undertakers.  Either way, I'll have a report on that after the awards are over.  Watch this space!

Well Suited

Ok, so I've covered black tie and white tie, but what about something a bit more useful to the casual gent, how to choose and wear a suit.  So here's a pretty comprehensive guide.

The Jacket
So, like the dinner jacket, you have two general options: single or double breasted.  Let's start with the more attainable single breasted jacket.  It should have either two or three button closure.  I find a two-button looks better on shorter men, while three button is better on taller men.  Men of average height, rejoice, both look fine on you.  Also, you will have the choice of either single or double vented.  A vent is the opening at the back of the jacket.  I prefer single vents, but that's a matter of personal preference.  Lapels should be either notch or peaked, but be careful with lapels, especially peaked.  If they are too wide or too thin, they'll look ridiculous.  
    Now, for double breasted jackets, I recommend against the 2/6 button variety.  This means that there are six buttons, but only the bottom row fasten.  These don't flatter most men.  I recommend a 4/6 jacket for most men, and possibly a 6/8 jacket for the EXTREMELY tall.  You'll have a choice of double vented or no vents.  Personally, I prefer no vent.  Double breasted jackets should always have peaked lapels.
   Both styles of jacket should be tightly tailored at the waist.  They will vary in length as well but, obviously, a shorter jacket looks better on shorter men while a longer jacket looks better on taller men.  Some fun additions are a ticket pocket (a smaller pocket above the right pocket) and working sleeve buttons or "surgeons cuffs."  Pockets can be flap or patch, but patch pockets are far more casual.  Most jacket pockets will be sewn shut, but I recommend cutting them open, especially the breast pocket for a pocket square.  A working lapel hole is also recommended (or, for double breasted jackets, one on each lapel).  There are also some cool back patterns not commonly seen anymore, such as belted and vented backs.

Pants/Trousers
You have several options here.  First off, pleated, flat-front, or inverted pleats.  Flat front is far more flattering for almost all body types, but good on ya if you can pull off pleats.  Pants should sit at your natural waist with either a belt or button-on suspenders.  Now, you have the option of cuffs.  Cuffs will make a short man look shorter, so I recommend them for average height or tall men.  There are many pocket types to try.  There are several types of slanted top-pockets, forward set vertical pockets, and western pockets.

Those, as well as back pockets, are up to personal preference.  Back pockets can be either no-button, button-through, button-loop, or button flap.  I recommend having both belt loops and suspender buttons on pants.  Other fun additions are a pocket-watch pocket (a small pocket above or inside the right trouser pocket.  If above the pocket, may have button flap) or a fishtail back.

You can also go with a button fly if you want, but this is hardly necessary.


Vest/Waistcoat (optional)
Vests should have around 6 buttons (double or single breasted.  Double may have 8) and extend above the gorge (neck opening) of the jacket UNLESS the jacket is double breasted, in which case the gorge should match EXACTLY to the jacket.  It can have up to four pockets (5 if it has a ticket pocket) and can have besom, flaps, or welt.  I recommend welt.  The single breasted can have shawl or notch lapels, or no lapel.  Double breasted should have shawl or peak lapels.  Double breasted vests go with single breasted jackets.  Single breasted vests go with both jackets.  All vest should fit tightly and overlap the pants by about an inch.  ALWAYS wear suspenders with a vest, no belts.


Fabric colors
For the most part, I'll leave this to your discretion, but you can't go wrong if you start with black, navy, or dark grey.  Pinstripes are good for all body types, but tall men should have wider spaced stripes.  Checked are good for all as well, but windowpane patterns are good for taller, thinner men.  The higher the wool content, the better.


How to match Shoes to Suit
General rule, brown shoes go with white/off white, brown/tan, blue, and lighter grey suits.  Black go with just about all suit colors.


That's about all for now.  I'll expand again at some point for accessories, ties, and other bits and bobs.  Goodnight for now.  

What a Mess

So, sorry I've been gone for a few days.  Valentine's day plans and whatnot have taken up quite a bit of time.  I like to do it up, as it were.  Anyway, I noticed I neglected to mention one piece of evening wear in my black tie essay: The White Mess Jacket.  

Now, the civilian mess jacket (it is still worn in the military) was only really "in style" for less than ten years, there aren't really any rules for it.  It is most often seen with a cummerbund, but a low cut black vest is also correct.  Turndown collars are the norm, but wing collars work too.  I've seen them with peaked and shawl lapels (never notch) and usually self-faced (as opposed to silk/satin faced).  Either plain gold or self-faced buttons are fine.  It is a very natty look if you can pull it off, but there are a few caveats.  First off, do not try if you are of less-than-athletic build, it won't flatter you.  Second, there is the ever-present risk of looking like a waiter.  But, now that you've been warned, I'll move on to how you may acquire a mess jacket of your own.




First off, custom made.  Obviously terribly expensive, but will get it fitting right.


Second off, find a military one.  You can find them new, but fairly expensive, or try trawling ebay to find a vintage one cheaper.  However, beware as fit is everything so, if it doesn't fit right, it won't look good.  If you happen to find one, get a tailor to change out the buttons if needed and remove the epaulet loops on the shoulders.


Third off (and least advised): Find a cheap ivory/off white tailcoat and have a tailor remove the tails.  Beware satin faced lapels and stiff polyester material like the plague.

My own, former military mess jacket. 

Two bits

So, it's late again and I can't get to sleep yet (seems I never get to sleep before 4 anymore) so I figured I'd give some more details on vintage shaving (or, at least, how I do it) for those out there who want to give it a try.  Ladies, this may be helpful for you too.




First off, I'll skip straight razor technique for now because, well, I'd guess very few of you reading will be crazy enough to give it a try (or be willing to shell out the cash for a good razor, sheesh).  This will have more to do with the old fashioned, double edged razors.  I picked up mine (It's a vintage Gillette) at an antique shop for about $25, took it home, scrubbed it with a brillo pad (it's brass and copper so there was some oxidation), and sanitized it in alcohol.  Brand new ones can be found for anywhere from $30 to $50 online.  Most of them are pretty simple in design with three pieces.  First, there's the rounded bit that actually makes contact with the skin.  This usually has a threaded bolt in the middle.  












Next is a flat bit with a hole in it that slides on over the bolt.  The blade gets sandwiched between these two parts.  














Last is the handle, which screws onto the bolt.










And, voila, a simple razor.  Now, first off, since this is a mostly bare blade, it is a little easier to cut yourself and takes a BIT more time than a modern razor.  For me, it takes about 5 minutes per pass (i.e. 5 min to go just with the grain, 10 if I want to go with, then against).  However, it gives a much closer shave, when done right.  Also, the blades are dirt cheap, unlike cartridge razors.  So, now that we've figured that out, let's get started.


At this point, you need a brush and some shaving soap.  The soap can be had at any pharmacy (CVS, Rite Aid, Walgreen's etc.) or even Walmart, Kmart, and Target.  I'd suggest investing in a decent brush, though.  I like badger hair, personally.  To lather up the soap, first run warm water over the brush.  The brush will soak up some water in the process.  Next, make small circles over the soap with the brush, applying a little pressure.  This should give you a decent lather pretty quickly.  Next, apply the lather to your face in small circles.  This makes the hair stand, making it easier to cut (applying normal, canned cream with your hands doesn't do this).  If you want, you can precede all of this with a hot towel on your face to soften it, but it is hardly necessary.


Once you're lathered up, it's time to start shaving.  what you want to do for the first few times is lay the rounded part flat on your skin, then slowly rock it until the blade touches your skin.  With time, you will be able to intuitively touch the blade edge to your face without this.  It will feel strange at first because the handle is at a near 90 degree angle to your face, but you will get used to it.  Now, for those of you that don't know the grains of your face, here are some tips (may vary, everyone's face is different).


With the grain:
Cheeks: down and inward
Chin: down and outward
Moustache: straight down center, angled down sides
Neck: down


Against the grain is all exactly the opposite.  Alternatively, there is across the grain (aka X grain), which will give a closer shave, but is much harder and will often result in lots of cuts.  NEVER start with X grain or against the grain, always start with the grain.  Not doing so will result in severe irritation and, often, nicks.


Now, once you've finished, splash some cold water on your face (or, submerge it in a sink full of cold water if you have the time or patience).  This will close up the pores on your face, preventing infection, ingrown hairs, and razor bumps.  Clean up any nicks with a styptic pen (any pharmacy will have it) and apply your aftershave of choice (I recommend Old Spice and Pinaud's Clubman for cheap, classic aftershaves that smell great).


That should just about do it, I think.  Any questions, feel free to comment below.  Thanks for reading.

I'm putting on my top hat...

So, this little essay will probably be fairly lost on most people because, well, no one wears white tie and tails anymore.  But I figured I'd write it anyway because it's 1 AM and I'm bored.  White tie and tails (aka White tie or Full Dress) is the closest thing to a civilian uniform there is, which turns most people off to it.  However, there is plenty of variety to be had when wearing white tie as well (provided you do it right).  But, doing it differently can get pretty expensive too.  Either way, I'll show you some of the does and do-nots of tails.


The Tailcoat
The tailcoat should have the appearance of being double breasted, but should not be able to close.  You'll see some tailcoats out there with one button that closes in the center; this is for waitstaff or fancy dress only.  Do not wear this to a white tie function.  Also, it should be black or midnight blue ONLY (sound familiar) and the pants should match.  Also, matching cloth covered buttons are a must.  There are two types of lapels appropriate for the formal tailcoat.  Some sartorialists will be confused here; most would say that only peaked lapels belong on the tailcoat, and I think they're MOSTLY right.  However, the other option I would endorse (albeit, with caution) is the M or Claw-hammer Lapel.

Of course, this will require a custom tail-suit (as will most variation on the coat itself).  Another variation is lapel facings.  Of course, black grosgrain silk is the norm, and is quite dashing, but a self-trimmed lapel is equally so.

Note both men's coats are self trimmed (be sure to avoid the velvet collar and purple waistcoat of Mr. Downey, though.)
Last, but not least, is the general cut of the coat.  Most are used to the average, formal tailcoat as being uniform across the board.  Not true.  For instance, most tailcoats are cut with a slanted front hem (to follow the lines of the vest).

However, a straight hem is equally acceptable and looks great if worn with a straight hemmed waistcoat (as well as with the standard, pointed type.

This also opens a door to the button placement.  Most tailcoats have a keystone button placement, where they slant up, toward the shoulders, but a straight hem allows a shorter lapel and a straight button configuration.

(This also shows a rare lapel style; a shawl lapel over the peaked lapel.  Not my style, but definitely interesting.)




The Waistcoat/Vest
Let me say this immediately.  With white tie, you MUST wear a vest.  No cummerbund or anything else.  Furthermore, it should be some shade of white/off white.  SOME say that since a black waistcoat was fine in the Victorian age, it's fine now.  They may be right but, to me, it doesn't look half as good as white.  But, that's my opinion, so take it with a grain of salt.  However, the vest is where you can take the most liberty for expression.  The rules to the vest are:
A. It must be white/off white/cream
B. It must be low-cut (three buttons, four if double-breasted) and have lapels
C. It must not extend below the front of the tailcoat.
Otherwise, all is fair game.  The most common is the white, backless, pique waistcoat.

While this is certainly fine, and very handsome, there is so much more that can be done.  For instance, a straight hemmed, shawl lapel waistcoat

Or the double breasted waistcoat (straight or pointed hem)

And, of course, off-white/cream brocade vests as seen on the above picture of Jude Law and Robert Downey Jr.  Also, a watch chain will not go amiss.


The Shirt
You have a few alternatives here, really.  First off, the shirt should have a detachable collar, barrel cuffs for cufflinks, and a stif front.  It must be white.  The front can be either a "boiled front" or pique front.  If you really push it, you MAY get away with a well starched, thinly pleated front.  The front should have holes for studs (mother of pearl or plain white).  As for collars, you have three available.  The wing collar

The rounded wing.

Or the tall stand/imperial collar

Of course, the shirt should be laundered and starched to perfection.




The Pants/Trousers
Relatively identical to tuxedo pants.  High rise, color to match the coat, silk stripe down the leg, no cuffs.  Wear with suspenders.  Plain front is better, pleats are fine.


Tie
White, pique, self-tie bow tie.  If your vest is brocade, you can probably get away with a matching tie.


Shoes
Patent leather opera pumps or highly polished Chelsea boots.  Some may argue the Chelsea boots, but I like them personally.


Hats
Highly polished top hat or silk collapsible top hat.

So, on the off chance you happen to get to wear white tie and tails, now you know how, or at least have an inkling of it.  Goodnight all, I have some homework to catch up with.

The Orbit Lounge

The Orbit Room in Chicago is a retro/rockabilly themed bar in the Avondale neighborhood.  It's definitely got a cool 50s feel to it but without overdoing it.  Thankfully, it stays away from the stereotypes prevalent in most 1950s themed establishments and keeps to a darker, moodier atmosphere.  Unfortunately, I couldn't get any decent photos due to the low lighting, but some photos can be seen on their website.  It was dead when we got there, around 6, but started picking up around 7.  The waitress/bartender was nice and the food was decent, if a tad pricey for bar fare.  Overall, pretty decent place if you're in the neighborhood, but not someplace I'd go out of my way to see again.  In other news, I'll be seeing more rockabilly venues in the near future, so keep an eye out.  Also, gave my buddy Colin a pompadour to fit in.

Oh, and my own pomp

Overall, fun night.  And on that note, goodnight all.  See ya tomorrow.

Saturday night and I just got paid...

Well, actually it's Sunday and I don't have a job, but some friends and I are headed to The Orbit Room, a Rockabilly/Retro themed bar and grill.  I'll post a review when we get back.  Also, hopefully pics of my buddy Colin with a greaser-style pompadour!  Wish us luck!!!

Shall we dress for dinner?

So, I got to pull out my tuxedo today for a Casino night here at my dorm and figured I'd write a bit of an essay on black tie attire ( and maybe white tie)and how far it's fallen, particularly on the red carpet and among heads of state (Barrack, I'm looking at you).  So, it's bad enough that men have almost universally forgotten how to dress on a day to day basis, but it seems that formal-wear is not immune to this, so I'm going to reference each piece of the formal wear ensemble, one by one.


The Dinner Jacket
First off, let me say this to start off.  The dinner jacket should have ONE BUTTON if single breasted and either two or four if double breasted.  In this day and age, you can get away with two, but more than that is just stupid.  Example:

This destroys all of the lines and elegance of the dinner jacket.  The dinner jacket is supposed to create a long, V-shaped frame for the shirt.  Like so:

Also, while I'm not a proponent of the notched lapel, I'll agree it can work.  However, shawl or peaked lapels are infinitely more elegant. Other details to include are no flaps on the pockets and no vent in the back of the jacket.  And, of course, the dinner jacket should be black, midnight blue, or cream/off white.


Pants/Trousers
Pants should be black or midnight blue (to match the jacket).  If the jacket is white, the pants should be...black or midnight blue. Wearing an all white dinner suit is...just don't.  It's terrible and screams "prom rental."  Pants should also have a satin stripe down each leg and no cuffs.  Also, use suspenders (buttons, not clips) and wear them at your NATURAL WAIST.  


Shirt
It should be white.  Only white.  French cuffs or barrel cuffs are fine, as long as they use cufflinks.  Pleated front, plain front, or bib front are all ok.  Turndown, spread collar is a safe bet.  I hesitate to recommend the wing collar just because of how few good wing collars there are.  Most are just too small and look stupid.  If you happen to find a decent one (or, the holy grail, a detachable wing collared shirt) be sure to pick it up.  The front should have holes for studs or have hidden buttons.


Waist Covering
Unless your jacket is double breasted, you should (read:must) have some sort of waist covering.  So, here you have two options: cummerbund or waistcoat.  Let's start with the cummerbund.  It should be black.  There are some exceptions, but stick to black or DO YOUR RESEARCH!!!  Otherwise, pleats should face up.  That's about it.  Now, waistcoats.  The waistcoat (vest to the layman), like the jacket, should be low cut to create a deep V. 3 or 4 buttons are the norm.  If you can find one, a double breasted waistcoat (4 or 6 buttons) will set you apart.  Lately, rental joints have been pushing high-necked vests that look terrible.  Example:

As opposed to a low cut vest which adds perceived height and frames the shirt:

Also, it helps if you're Bradley Cooper, but you get the idea.
And waistcoats should be black, midnight blue (to match the jacket and pants), or, on rare occasions, white (but only with bib front, wing collared shirt and peaked lapel jacket). Lapels (shawl only) are nice, but not necessary.


Tie
Black (or midnight blue), self tie, bow tie.  Plain silk or grosgrain.  No long ties.  No pre-tied bowties.  That's about it.  Follow that and you'll be fine.


Shoes
I won't be a stickler, but patent leather opera pumps or oxfords are perfect.  I like Chelsea boots too (and black and white wingtips with a white jacket, for that matter), but some may disagree.  If you have none of the above, a nice pair of dress shoes polished to within an inch of their life are fine.  Also, black dress socks.


Overview
So, now you've got the gist so I'll offer some examples to aspire to.  Next time, we'll cover white tie and tails.

And to show that I do know how to do this myself:

Elegance: [el-i-guhnt]

a. Refinement, grace, and beauty in movement, appearance, or manners.

b. Tasteful opulence in form, decoration, or presentation.

Here's lookin' at you, kid.

I recently came across this video.  It's about 8 and a half minutes long so, for those without the time to invest in it, here's the gist of the video. This guy's daughter said some inflammatory things about her parents on facebook, some things they didn't take kindly to, most of which (at least according to him) are untrue.  She tried to hide it from them but, her dad being a computer tech, they found out after he spent half a day and $130 upgrading her laptop for her.  So, her father decided to take away her laptop...by putting a magazine of .45 hollow-points through it.  A lot of controversy has surrounded this with parents applauding his action and teens condemning it.  Now, let me say this.  If I had ever spoken about my parents the way this girl did, I would be lucky to be alive, let alone have a laptop.  Of course, I have been far from the perfect child.  I don't know what it is about the ages of 15-17, but for whatever reason, the screw-up gene just kicks in about that time and, for those years, most kids just irrationally hate their parents for whatever reason.  I screwed up, I know that, and I didn't always get along with my parents, and I was wrong most of the time.  Then, I turned 18 and something happened.  All of a sudden, the urge to rebel wasn't there anymore and I could see where they were coming from.  I realized they were right and had a new respect for them.  And are my parents perfect?  No, of course not, no one is, but damn me to hell if I don't appreciate them for everything they've ever done for me.  I grew up knowing there would be consequences to my actions and, while I may have hated it and thought it was unfair at the time, I'm glad of it today.  It made me a more responsible person.  I love and appreciate my parents more than I can ever say.  I don't know if they'll ever read this, but I hope they know that.


On another note, it's snowing in Chicago today, and it's beautiful.  Wish I had an excuse to leave the apartment.  Maybe later.  Anyway, I'll leave you with that.  Have a good weekend everyone!

The Razor's Edge

Great video from the creators of Marble Hornets (look it up on youtube, it's fantastic).  While we're on the subject, I highly recommend old school shaving to nearly anyone, male or female.  For those not bold enough (or brave enough, as it were) to go the straight razor route, I recommend the old fashioned double edged razors.  You can pick one up pretty cheap in an antique shop and clean it up or buy one new for about $50 (try The Art of Shaving).  The blades are way cheaper than a traditional razor and provide a closer shave anyway.  Also, shaving with soap and brush is cheaper and more effective than canned shaving cream (you can find the blades and soap at any pharmacy or the local walmart.  I suggest investing in a decent badger-hair brush).  Food for thought.

True Love Ways

So, Valentine's day is coming up so I'm hearing alot (mostly from girls) about how "chivalry is dead" and such.  Now, let me preface by saying I don't like Valentine's day as a holiday.  It's a hallmark holiday, plain and simple.  However, I have a penchant for the dramatic and it gives me an excuse to plan grand romantic gestures.  Anyway, while chivalry is on life support in a bad way, it is not dead.  The problem is, I find, that the "hot" guys are often far too aware of how attractive they are to women and take advantage of it while the girls are far too modest to believe that they deserve to be treated better.  Put simply, attractive men are far too cocky and attractive women have far too little self esteem.  Compounding this is that the typical "nice guy" often ends up unwanted because of lack of confidence.  Your average "nice guy" doesn't have the confidence to see himself as attractive, let alone the cockiness to flaunt it.  You know the type; the guy who you know will bend over backwards just to see you smile, who you go to the movies with and get along with really well, but "it just wouldn't work out."  Notice how that guy matches just about every definition of "chivalry" you can come up with?  Exactly.  So, to the ladies out there, next time you see that guy you've put in "the friend zone," give him a shot.  It may not work out, but at least you tried.  And to the nice guys out there, have a little confidence.  You're everything most girls want, but they won't see it if you don't let it shine.  Make the transition from "nice guy" to Gentleman.  Anyway, my gal is calling me so I'm off.  I'm sure you all know your way out.  G'night.

Chivalry:\ˈshi-vəl-rəs\

a : marked by honor, generosity, and courtesy

b : marked by gracious courtesy and high-minded consideration especially to women

Welcome

Hello, internet.  My name is Robert Parise and I'm a retrocentric.  It's about 3:30am, Central Standard Time, here in Chicago and, well, I can't get back to sleep.  So, figured I'd say hello and get this thing started.  So, just to let you know what this is going to be all about, I'll be talking about old stuff most of the time.  Old music, old cars, old clothes, etc.  There'll be some sartorial stuff, but I'm none too polished so most of it will be for you average Joes.  Oh, and any sartorial advice I may give will have your wallet in mind, unlike some other blogs out there that expect you to have a few grand lying around to buy a custom morning suit.  Also, I'm an actor and a bit of a writer so some of that'll end up on here too.  Anyway, I'll cut the chatter and get down to business.  Come on in, take your coat off.  There's whiskey at the sideboard if you want it.

Anachronism: [uh-nak-ruh-niz-uhm]: something or someone that is not in its correct historical or chronological time